Blog 16: Reflecting on Writing 150

During Writing 150, I have learned a lot about how to polish my writing. Before this class, I struggled to connect my ideas and to have my writing flow. My writing often sounded choppy and was difficult to understand. Now, I can link my ideas with transitional phrases. I have also learned how to set up my ideas with clear and concise introductions. When I started this class, I often had many redundancies in my writing. I was afraid that readers would not understand what I was saying. With my transitions and a few structure changes, I grew more confident in my ability to write clearly. Now I do not feel like I must repeat myself to insure that I am understood.

One thing I think could improve the class is more in class revision of our papers. The peer review is helpful, but what I found most effective was reviewing our own papers. A couple of times you had us read one paragraph and then try to implement a transitional phrase or something else. I think many students struggle with revision, and this would help them learn to edit themselves.

Another addition I would make to the class would be to read examples of rhetorical analysis and research papers.  I had never done a rhetorical analysis before this class. I read the example in the supplemental guide, but this was the only example I had. I wondered whether I was copying this author’s style or whether I was using the normal conventions of rhetorical analysis.  By reading more examples, the students could see various styles and approaches to these papers and develop their own.

Response to Diane Rehm

I listened to the Diane Rehm podcast with Michael Gazzaniga. He is the author of the book Who’s in Charge: Free Will and the Science of Brain. Gazzaniga is also a professor at University of California, Santa Barbara. During the interview, they mostly discussed his book, which details his research and his views on how social interaction affects our control over our brain. In addition they discussed some of his other research particularly the division of the two hemispheres of the brain. Gazzaniga did well in explaining the science behind his research to his non-academic audience. Rehm also helped by asking him to explain various words or concepts that most people would not understand. I think Gazzaniga findings are interesting, but I think he misses the mark in his conclusion. Although his findings are credible, he stretches them too far to support his claims. He only says the human brain is hardwired but social interaction and responsibility alter our behavior. I believe that we all have innate beliefs from birth, but these are often overshadowed by our experiences in the world. Gazzaniga’s explanation does not show how people from the same environment can take their socialization in different ways. Another part of his interview that interested me was when he discussed the research with babies who are born with brain deformation. When this occurs, the brain evolves and finds alternate ways to carry out the functions that were compromised. If the changes happen later in life the brain has already developed and can not alter its structure to compensate for the malformation.

My Favorite Movie

I have many favorite movies, and it is hard to choose just one. I'll always have a warm spot in my heart for Cool Runnings and Miracle, but I will write about the Dark Knight. I remember before it came out, many people discredited Christopher Nolan's new Batman series because it was based on a comic book. With the release of the first movie, most of the critics could no longer discount Nolan's ability to create a dramatic movie based on Batman. I could not wait to see the Dark Knight when it came out. many people wondered what the Joker's role would be because of Heath Ledger's mental illness and death after he played that character. His performance was stunning, and it is easy to see how he could get lost in the mania of the character. In order to portray the Joker that way, he had to throw himself into the mind of a madman, and he never recovered. Besides Heath Ledger's performance, I also enjoyed some of the subtle humor, mostly from Alfred. He frequently cracked wise with Bruce Wayne in order to humble him. Another aspect that I enjoyed was theme of power and its ability to corrupt. Harvey Dent begins the movie as the White Knight of Gotham, but throughout the movie, he is destroyed by his responsibility to the city. The pressure reveals some of his flaws, and he eventually cracks once his love is taken away from him, transforming him into the monster Two Face.

How my research paper is going?

I know we are supposed to start drafting during this week, but it looks like I am going to cram it all in over the weekend. I still need to do lots of research because eight to ten pages is quite a bit of writing. one thing I am worried about is being able to provide my own commentary and analysis. After reading about the unintentional plagiarism and patch writing, I am nervous that I will do it since it is so easy to do.

Response to Why Write

The main point I took from the reading was that organization and planning is key to a good research paper. If you do not plan ahead, you may address your argument to the wrong audience, address the wrong aspect of the issue, or go in several other incorrect directions. Once you plan out what you’re addressing, you must gather your evidence. When you have sufficient evidence you now have to organize your evidence in a way that avoids logical fallacies. You lose your credibility if you organize poorly.

When it comes to the research paper, I am most concerned with is being able make a unique point. At least with my topic, it has been argued and rehashed so many times I am not sure that I will be able to avoid just regurgitating other people’s arguments. Hopefully with the limited amount of time I can be knowledgeable enough to make a solid argument.

50 Words on Research Topic

I have decided to write on the privatization of health care. This is a subject of great debate in America today. Privatization is one of the topics that presidential candidates are judged on. I honestly have know idea whether it is the right thing to do or not. The main reasons I am going to research it are its important to us and I want to be more informed about it so I can make better decisions on who to vote for.

50 Words on Rhetorical Analysis

I am so glad to be done with the rhetorical analysis. I prefer this kind of writing to the creative writing of the personal narrative, but it was hard nonetheless. I was disappointed with the help from the writing center. I went in and the lady basically just nodded and gave some really vague advice. I asked about my sentence structure and my organization and got no feedback on either. Either my paper was amazing to start with, or my tutor just didn't want to help me. Hopefully it was the former.

Rhetorical Analysis progress

I just spent the last five or so hours writing my paper. I do not think I can write much more. Beforehand I thought I was well organized and prepared for the essay and then I started to write my intro. I stared at a blank screen and could not get words to come out of my brain. It took me around an hour and a half to write the intro. I kept changing my essay structure and my thesis. and then I would change what tools I was going to write about. Just a bad time. Hopefully the final product is good and the revising will be easy.

Rhetorical Analysis: "Letter From Birmingham Jail"

Martin Luther King Jr.’s “A Letter From Birmingham Jail” falls into the expository genre but disguised as a letter. King wrote to the religious leaders in the South to inform them about the civil rights movement and to persuade them to join. His letter addresses concerns they may have; it also shows how they have not shown the proper support that a man of God would. King tries to show that apathy towards injustice is equal to the injustice itself. King’s central message is that the religious community must support the peaceful civil rights movement or else they are betraying their beliefs. King divides the world into three groups: supporters of injustice, opponents of injustice, and people that are ambivalent. He shows that people who are ambivalent and do not fight against injustice are as bad as those who commit injustices. King believes that to advance a moral cause you have to use moral methods; this is why he only endorses peaceful protest. King also believes that religion supports equality, and if you are true to your faith, you must support justice and equality. King uses several tools of rhetoric. He uses his own credibility as a Christian man to support his claims. He mentions his heritage as priest, his achievements, and his peaceful record to show that his cause is just. King quotes from Socrates and other philosophers and calls on the credibility of others to support his argument. King utilizes a strong appeal to emotion. His imagery and figurative language evoke a strong response. He shares stories about explaining to his kids about racism and inequality to persuade his audience. In his writing, King introduced his opponents’ arguments and then showed their faults. This tool was especially effective.

Assignment: Analytic Response, "What Christians Believe"

C.S. Lewis’s essay “What Christians Believe” falls into the genre of social commentary. Lewis discusses religion and human nature, both aspects of society. Lewis describes his own change from atheist to Christian and uses his experience to give depth to his argument. Lewis wrote “What Christians Believe” to help categorize the different religions. He first breaks religion into people who believe in God and those who do not. The next categories are people who believe God is separate entity or those who see God as part of the universe. Lewis continues to categorize religion until only Christianity remains. He wrote this essay to show that Christian beliefs follow a logical pattern. Lewis ultimate purpose, though, is to defend Christianity and help spread its message. His effort is directed at intellectuals and appeals to their method of thinking. Lewis’s central message is that Christian’s beliefs pass the tests of logic and that they are true. Lewis assumes that the reader is familiar with Christian beliefs. He also assumes that readers think that whatever is true must be logical. Lewis’s world views include a definite split between those who believe in a God and those who do not. He sees the world as a place where everything can be explained. Lewis also believes that people seek understanding and try to better themselves. Lewis uses several tools of rhetoric. The main tool is logos, an appeal to logic. His entire essay follows a pattern of finding an issue and then resolving it. He resolves the issues through serious thought and Christian beliefs. Lewis shows the oppositions argument and then presents why it does not follow logic. For evidence, he uses his personal knowledge and experience. 

Analytic Snapshot:"Veil of Fears"

Genre: Social Criticism along with some political criticism

Purpose: The author argued that we can not apply Western values to everyone. Michael Kurtz is a writer who mostly talks about civil rights issues. In his paper he tries to show that it is ignorant and unfair for people to push their beliefs on others. He urges the audience to move out of their ignorance and to learn more about other cultures.

Central Message: We must look past superficial judgements, which are “mistaken and dangerous,” not force our culture on the Middle East, and allow for the gradual modernization of the Middle East.

World View and Assumptions: Kurtz sees the political process as a better option than violence or force. He believes in equality but within the context of each culture. Kurtz thinks that no culture is better than the other, just different. Kurtz assumes that different cultures try to improve other people by spreading their beliefs. He assumes that people are ignorant of certain aspects of foreign cultures, and because of their ignorance, force their beliefs on others.

Use of Tools/Evidence: Kurtz calls on examples of the past (Iran and Afghanistan) to make his point clear. He takes the counter-arguments and gives evidence that disproves them (poverty leads to terrorism). Kurtz explains Muslim tradition using reasoning that is sensible to a Western audience(tribe and family loyalty as a reason for veiling). He points out contradictions in the counter-argument (the ignorance of the Western claims that veils are forced on the women).

Assignment: Personal Narrative Review

What is there to say about personal narratives? First, it was not as hard as I thought it was going to be. Once I decided on my topic, I just poured out everything I remembered. This strategy worked well because I did not have to worry if I would have enough material to cover four pages. The only problem I had was letting go of my favorite parts. Revising is a painful process. When I think of revising, I feel like I am getting the life sucked out of me. Once I started revising my paper, it went well. I learned that reading aloud is a great help for catching your errors or weak areas. Something about listening to your writing just high lights your mistakes. My only regret about the personal narrative is my opening. I felt like I had a good hook for the essay, but as I sat in class I started kicking myself. I realized the opening was cliche and had a weak sentence structure.Sitting in class I just wanted to pull out a pen and change up my writing. I don’t think that would have gone over well with Sister Elliott. On the bright side, the personal narrative helped me to remember a fond memory and to understand myself more. I plan on keeping the paper so I can have it as a sort of journal. The narrative also helped me understand myself because I had to put my actions into context and see how other people would think about them. Putting yourself out there like that is nerve racking and made the personal narrative difficult.  

Assignment: Personal Narrative Progress

At first I thought the personal narrative would be easy. As I sat down to write it became extremely difficult. I began writing last night. It sounded like a good idea when I first planned to do it: I’d be able to ask questions about the problems I was having and I would not have much to do this weekend with the big game. When I stared at the blank screen on my computer my mind also went blank. I thought I would write about how my ears stick out more than most peoples and how I was teased for it when I was little. I worried that this would sound like a pity story. I was planning on making it funny and I would show how I came to not care about my appearance. It was hard to get words on paper, and as I began to make some progress I realized it was more of a personal essay than a narrative. I figured the problem was that it was late at night. I thought I would be able to fix it when I worked on it in the morning. When I worked on it today I could not figure out how to turn it into a narrative. I gave up on my page and a half of writing and tried to find a new topic. It was hard enough to figure out my first topic so finding another one was like pulling teeth. I tried to do some free writing like was suggested in Why Write. This helped to get my thoughts moving, and I was able to settle on a new topic. Hopefully this one goes better than the last.

Assignment: Loving Unconditionally

Greta Ballif shares her experience of taking care of her grandmother in “Caregiver.”  Ballif talks about a night in which she is supposed to take care of her elderly grandma. She recounts the simple tasks that she had to do and layers in her thoughts giving meaning to what she was doing. This popular form of personal narrative writing is effective for this type of story. It helps to understand what the person was going through. Often menial things have great meaning depending on the context. Helping someone get ready for bed could be seen as a chore, but the author began to love her grandma more because of what she was doing. Not only did she appreciate Alice more, but Ballif was grateful for her own abilities.

            My own grandma is beginning to age quickly and struggles to live on her own. It is difficult to see relatives struggle to do the things they could once do with no thought. When you come into life you are helpless, and as you leave this life you are reliant on others for your well being. This causes many elderly people trouble as they adapt to being dependent again. The narrative reminds me to treasure the time I have with my grandparents before they pass on. Hearing their stories and insights has been a great blessing to me. I have learned to appreciate the small things in life from seeing my grandparents age.  This helped me to relate to the author as she watched Alice struggle out of her wheel chair to change. 

Favorite Quotes from the readings

"I felt embarrassed, embarrassed for plummeting so suddenly into the deepest intimacies of my father's life, embarrassed for absorbing my mother's precious time those two years ago, embarrassed for being ignorant to her sacrifices for me, and embarrassed that, for the first time, I realized my father was capable of feeling shame and sadness and failure, just as I was." My Father's Sketch Book

"It is in our family that our Christ-like attributes. like forgiveness and patience, are tested the most." Families (that have been torn, re-cut with dull scissors, and then messily glued back together) Are Forever"

Thoughts on "Love Story Fades to Black"

Michael Potter tells of his first encounter with his high school sweetheart after his mission in “Love Story Fades to Black.” He intends to restart the relationship in a dramatic fashion, just the way it ended before his mission. His sweetheart had other ideas. She has since made many friends and dated other guys. This situation is consuming many of the freshmen at BYU. The men are trying to get girls to write them; the girls pretend to like them as they wait for Prince Charming R.M. to come sweep them off of their feet. This personal narrative acted as a warning for me to be ready for the Dear John letter.

Reading about Potter’s experience made me feel bad for him. His personal life was on hold while he was away for two years, but everyone else he knew continued on through life. Missions can be difficult on relationships; time and distance apart will either help you grow together or apart. His struggle to relate to his friend shows the adjustment it is to transition back into real life for missionaries. I have seen this with my own siblings as they return from their missions. There is an awkward period because they are not used to being on their own and doing casual things like watch television. Potter over thought and clumsy attempts at restarting his relationship with his sweetheart reminded me of my siblings as they returned to normal life after their missions.

While relating his story, Michael Potter used a well developed voice in his writing. With his personal narrative being semi-humorous, his dramatic yet comical tone worked well. Potter was able to quickly establish a relationship with his audience. I felt as if one of my friends was sharing their story of heart break to me so we could share a laugh.

Me in 100 (or so) words

I was born and raised in Torrance, CA. This is my first time living out of the LA area. I love going to the beach and hanging out. Sports are a large part of my life. The Lakers are my favorite team, but I am stoked for BYU football and basketball. My favorite kind of music is alternative, i.e. The Strokes, The Airborne Toxic Event. I love my family; they are the best. I hate when people are disingenuous. My pet peeves are when people take forever to text back and when people grunt obnoxiously while lifting weights.